Finding the neuro-muse


Creativity is complicated, and something I used to take for granted. I used to find words easily, play and craft them into stories, poems, 

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/306611.php-“The default network, also referred to as the imagination network, is used to construct dynamic mental simulations. Situated deep in the prefrontal cortex and temporal lobe, with connections to parts of the parietal cortex, it builds pictures based on previous experiences and imagines alternative scenarios and events” … “Some studies have linked a reduction in latent inhibition to psychosis. However, a study using high-IQ individuals found that those with lower latent inhibition scores were more likely to be creative.

The authors wonder whether an innate propensity to be open to experience might play a role in creativity. Simply put, people who are less likely to classify an object or a sound as “irrelevant” are at an advantage when it comes to producing creative, original content.” … Some scientists have linked the strength of alpha waves to levels of creativity. One study measured EEG alpha waves while participants solved verbal problems. Individuals were asked to come up with as many original solutions as possible. The results showed that the most creative solutions were accompanied by measurable increases in alpha power.”
I’ve always been highly sensitive, aware of my surroundings, easily overwhelmed. I still am, but now the creative component is missing. Am I failing to produce alpha waves? Did I lose too much executive function to tune out, daydream, and instead use all my processing power for everyday functions now? Did I lose too many pathways to make the connections I used to? Did I lose too much working memory to process it all at once?

All I know, is I can recall having a rich inner world that is now silent. I used to compose drawings, write poems while driving, sketch during meetings, invent new products, design, create. Now my empty pages remain as empty as I feel. Will my creativity return? No one knows. But you better believe I’ll never give up looking for it. I’m so hopeful my new neurologists, scheduled later this summer, will have more answers for me.

I want to be me again.

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